The Daughter In Law(10)

By: Jordan Silver

“Oh stuff it Clarence, don’t expect me to sit here and watch my family being destroyed and say nothing. She’s been nothing but a headache ever since she came along. Nothing’s ever been the same and now this. My own son is deserting me on the most precious day of the year.” Cue the waterworks. Was this bitch high or had they upped her meds? Usually she never showed her ass in mixed company, she usually saved that shit for our special alone time. Like when we used to take bathroom breaks together. I’d wised up to that shit quick though and soon started finding any excuse not to be alone with the demon spawn.

Clueless was wearing a curious look on his face like he still didn’t get it. I guess mom had schooled dad, because although I could see the vein popping in his forehead, he held his peace. I had yet to say a word edgewise, this was the Mabel Spencer show for one.

“I don’t appreciate your sneaky underhanded tactics young lady. You know how important it is for me to have family around me for the holidays, I thought we understood that. But I see I was wrong. You waited until my back was turned and worked your wiles on my son to get your way. I guess that’s to be expected from your sort. Now my family will be torn apart for the holidays, something that’s never happened before. The only good thing about this is that I won’t have to have you in my home. I won’t have to spoil my holiday by sharing it with the likes of you. I hope you’re pleased with yourself you selfish little home wrecker.”

Oh shit, here comes Mrs. Hyde. Where the fuck is my camera? You have got to be shitting me. Things were getting so good I almost forgot the whole purpose of this exercise. It was like watching a train wreck in slow motion. Momma was right; just a few strategic moves at the right time and this bitch would detonate.

“Mom what the hell? What are you saying? Are you for real? This is my wife.”

“Yes and I’m your mother…”

“Yeah that’s right my mother, not my woman, not my owner nor my keeper. I can’t believe I didn’t see this in you before. Is this what the fuck you’ve been doing while I was away? After I asked and you promised to look after her like one of your own?”

“I’ll thank you not to speak to me like that Damien, I’m still your mother.”

“Yeah you are and I’ve never been more disappointed in you than I am right this minute.”

“Disappointed in me, how dare you. If you hadn’t married beneath you…”

“ENOUGH.” Get the fuck out, did he just? I think I just came on myself no joke. “I’m sorry I didn’t see it Vanessa, sorry it took me this long.”

“This is all her fault, she’s been filling your head with lies and…”

“No, no she hasn’t; in fact until I came back from my last deployment I never even knew there was anything wrong between you two. How the fuck far did you push her to make her finally stand up for herself? How could you? I trusted you with her. Have you any idea what you almost cost me?” Oh shit, he was halfway out of his seat.

“Honey calm down.” I tried soothing him because in all seriousness I did not expect this to turn into a Jerry Springer moment. And though the tables were situated in such a way that the patrons had relative privacy, I didn’t want things to get out of hand.

“No fuck that, I’ve been fighting with you, trying to get you to be… and all the while she…” Poor thing he couldn’t even speak.

“I don’t know what you’re getting so upset about it was just…”

“It was just you being a royal bitch to my wife in front of others, who the fuck do you think you are lady? You think because you wear the title of mom that that gives you the right? Come on Vanessa we’re out of here you don’t have to put up with this shit. I’m sorry Jackie, Dan. You guys are more than welcome to follow us back to the house. Dad I’ll talk to you later.” Momma and daddy got up and daddy dropped some bills on the table. He was fighting a smile now so there was no danger of him gutting anyone. Did I mention that my dad’s Italian? From Brooklyn? Nuff said.

Honey boo boo opened her mouth to add in her two cents and caught some of that nice wrath hubby had working. “You shut the fuck up. I might draw the line at hitting my own mother but I’d have no problem popping you one. You disgust me. You talk shit about my wife, trying to imply that she was meeting up with other men? She has more class in her pinky than you do in your whole sordid life. The whole lot of you get this straight. Anyone and I mean anyone who tries to fuck with my marriage I will destroy you.” He glared at his mother before taking my hand and dragging me out of there.

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